My Family and Friends – Don’t Understand Me!

That’s a statement I hear often when people are learning how to apply the Law of Attraction in their lives….

My first response – well at least in my head is – So? – But I don’t usually say that because I do understand what is going on….

First off – I have friends and family members who don’t understand me – So I certainly live this experience.

Do I care that they don’t understand me – Well not anymore – - but there was a time when I did.

There was a comment about this topic from this article and I promised I would talk about it…

Here is part of the comment:

” …………..Folks around me just “aint gettin it”. By letting things be as they are, it is causing issues in my relationships.. They seem to think I don’t care about important stuff. When I comment that this is what we have made or, something to that effect, major tensions can show their faces……. “

25 years ago – if you told me the same things I believe and talk about today – I would have thought you were Nuts! It was true – “I wasn’t getting it”

And the funny thing is – I know this information resonated deep within me – but I was so used to “thinking inside of the box” – - I was so used to being true to the “status quo” not to my own inner voice!

So I totally “get it” when people don’t “get it”!

And….. If I was dealing/talking about an issue that was important to me and someone commented that I made this happen – - that I caused it. Oh my goodness! I promise you – you would have been met with much more than major tension on my face!!

Now after saying all of that………… When I first stepped upon the path of self-discovery – I was soooo excited! I wanted everyone I knew and loved to know all about this!

Eureka – I thought – this is the way for all of us to have a happy and fulfilling life! So – I proceeded to run out there and tell all my friends and family.

Guess what? Most of them didn’t want to hear what I was saying! Ouch! I thought I was bringing them pure gold and they were annoyed at me!

Why?

Right here is the key…. They weren’t asking me for the answer!

No wait – you might say – they are asking – as they are saying their life is hard – or the situation they are in is confusing / upsetting them. They are asking me for my opinion on that situation…. So they are asking the question.

Hmmmm – Well they might be asking you for your feedback on a situation. But they really aren’t asking you for The Answer…. and many times if you are very close to a person – even when they are ready for the Answer – it probably won’t be from you!

Mostly when people are telling you their worries, fears – - they are looking to vent. You are probably a person they used to vent to before…. They are still looking for that person that allows them to vent – They are not asking you for the Answer!

Venting – and Asking are not the same thing. Believe me I know – as I used to vent. I don’t know why – I guess I thought if I just blabbed about all this stuff – it would somehow get easier. And usually the people I vented to – joined me in my complaining.

Of course today I know it works the complete opposite…. If I am venting/blabbing about a crappy situation – I am setting myself up for more crappy situations. But I did not know that years ago – and people who are still venting don’t know it either.

So – you think it is your duty to inform them – Well that isn’t your job. You can not answer a question that has not been asked!

I can not hear an answer that I am not allowing in! You can say the words all you want – but if I am not ready to Hear It – - I’m not going to…. And your insistent remarks are probably going to upset me!

Let’s take a scenario ….

You say to me – -
• “Ellie I have this big job situation going on – my boss is really annoying me. I am hating this job more and more everyday. I don’t want to get up in the morning and go to work. I don’t know what I am going to do!”

I say to you – - -
• “Well you know this isn’t a big deal…. and you create your life – so you need to create it different.”

Whoa…. Did you just knock my lights out?

If you let me live – - and I go on and on about Law of Attraction and how you are not a victim and you create your life…. Do you think you ever want to hear me talk about LOA again?!

You were looking for some way to feel better – that is why you spoke to me. And actually you were doing the right thing… You were feeling powerless – and when you started to speak to me you were speaking your anger about the situation.

So… in essence you came up the emotional scale as anger is lots better than powerlessness…. But you were nowhere near the level of feeling like this is not a big deal!

OK maybe I exaggerated the scenario (or maybe not) – But let’s say I answer you a bit softer….

• OK (your name) – this isn’t a big deal – everything will work out – you know we all create our lives – so you just have to see things different and things will get different….

I think you still might want to knock my lights out!

The point is simple – there are many people who do not want to hear your wisdom! … Especially the people closest to you. They know you – they have seen how you used to be. Usually this new you is not endearing to them – they are still looking for the old you. The old you who use to join them in complaining.

So what to do?

Here is what I have learned….

1) How other people view life ….. is None of My Business!
2) I can not tell someone how to think or act – I can only teach about the Law of Attraction by my actions – not my words….

So – if I said to you – -

• Hmmmm (your name) I hear you are struggling with this…. I hear it is important to you. For me – I think I would try not to concentrate so much on this. I think I would not want this stuff to live in my head rent free. I know that when I am angry at someone the only person who truly gets hurt is me – cause I am the one that gets the headache not them.

Then…. I would change the subject or some how get away for awhile.

If you came back to me and said – -

• “But Ellie you aren’t upset – don’t you think this situation is important?”

I would say something like – -
• “Well I really try not to make any of these things so important – so dramatic – Like I said – it is me who ends up getting the headache and the stuff doesn’t change anyways. So maybe I just need to go with the flow and believe everything will work out”

OK this conversation we had was not so challenging to you – was it? This conversation had compassion without joining you in your misery. This conversation did not tell you what to do – I spoke in the me – (For me – blah – blah….)

I learned I needed to let people discover things on their own. The only way I can teach is through my actions. When they see me – I am happy – I am upbeat. When they know I have a situation going on and they see I am not doing my old complaining act…. They just may start to pay attention.

I can have compassion for others without joining them in their misery. I have found a balance – I do not need to join anyone in their misery or anger nor do I need to poke at them and try to get them to see it my way….

I just need to let go – Quietly….

Many times couples seem to have the hardest time with this – if one is upset they want the other one to also be upset.

But – again You can stay clear and calm without provoking them. If they are annoyed that you aren’t upset – let them be annoyed – they will get over it. Especially if you do not get annoyed because they are annoyed at you!!

Don’t get hooked into that old way of thinking. See that person in your mind as the person you love – don’t see them in their annoyance…. if you do not fuel this – if you do not activate this in your own vibration… You will be amazed at how short lived their annoyance will be!

Don’t try to teach. When you try to teach someone – they end up feeling that you are telling them they are wrong. No one likes to be told they are wrong.

Teach by Being… Be the person who deliberately creates your day – who understands the power of us all. Be the person who is the total Love of who we all are. The people who are ready to hear you – - will come. The others? – If you are Being Love – they will love you – they might not agree with you – but they won’t care because they will Love being with your Love.

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