Every week I receive questions about relationships…. They range from creating new relationships to saving relationships…..

For the next few weeks - I will cover the main topics from these questions.

So let’s start out with a big one - - The “Broken” Relationship………

The question I basically hear is “How can I fix this relationship?”

Let’s start off defining a relationship - - What is a relationship?

The dictionary says;

1. a connection, association, or involvement.
2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
3. an emotional or other connection between people.
4. a sexual involvement; affair.

I consider I have a relationship where I have an emotional connection. Not just human beings - as I believe you have relationships with your pets - with your surroundings - with nature…

Anything you connect with - is, in essence, a relationship —

It doesn’t matter who your relationship is with — there is one common denominator in your relationships - that is You…

So as in all of our discussions - we always come back to You - - -

The more you understand how to live the law of attraction - the more you will realize there is always only one answer for any given topic - that answer is You.

Your life - whether the topic is about money, or health, or relationships - is always about your perception - your attitude - your thoughts and feelings….

I just wrote a guest post for Priscilla Palmer - the article was How to Deal with Difficult People……

In that article I spoke of acceptance…. Acceptance of what is - - I didn’t say you have to like what is - - but - if you want to change what is - you need to start off by first accepting it….

Same is with relationships — First you need to accept it is all about You….

Funny when I say the word acceptance - people react like I am talking about blame or fault! Nowhere am I saying that or implying it…

Living the Law of Attraction - Living Life - is not about blame, it is not about who is right or wrong nor is it about guilt or fault - It is all about creation…

So if I am living within a relationship that is not going well - I need to:

• #1 accept that — this relationship is not going as I would like it to…
• #2 - I created this!

OK I see a few people cringing….

I did not say the bruised relationship is your fault — nor did I say it is the other person’s fault….

I did not say the other person is right — nor did I say you are right….

To live the life of the Power-filled being that you already are - You need to take these words out of your vocabulary –

• Blame
• Fault
• Guilt
• Right
• Wrong

When I say you have created this - I am not saying you have done so on purpose. Most of us have created much of our lives not being aware of what we are doing. Most of us have lived many years creating our lives by default…

Remember how we create - Law of Attraction says “that which is likened to itself is drawn” - in other words “Like attracts Like”

Ellie are you saying people that are in abusive relationships have created them?

I might be making some enemies when I say this - but - my answer is - Yes –

Yes - because the person who is being abused on some level attracted that abuse. No I am not saying that is what they wanted — And I do believe all of these people had pictured themselves being in a loving relationship not an abusive one!

So what happened?

We create our lives by vibration - We put out into the Universe our vibration - we put that out with our beliefs - our feelings…. - the intensity of our beliefs…

If someone believes they are not worthy - or they are in some way bad - or they believe they need to be controlled - They send out that vibration…. And yes even though they are hoping for a good relationship - the intensity of those beliefs is strong - that vibration is strong and it will attract people who are abusive…

I must say here - I do not believe anyone that is being abused - mentally or physically should in anyway stay in the relationship…. You need to get away - No one should ever allow another to abuse them….

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Can a bruised / broken relationship be fixed?

The first thing to ask yourself is why am I calling this a bruised / broken - - relationship?

I can’t possibly address all the answers to this question — each person’s perspective is different — so what I would call bruised another might not…

You need to look at your own individual situation - you need to do this in an objective manner - without all the blame, guilt, fault - I’m not saying that is always an easy thing to do… it is quite possible you need help with this - maybe a Coach or a Counselor can help direct you.

Write down what you would think a perfect relationship looks like - and what a perfect partner for you looks like….

Don’t write this -
Someone who is not always complaining….

Write the actual quality you are looking for -
Understanding
Patient

Look at your list - - -

• Now….. don’t look at your partner - Instead look at You –
  • Are these qualities that you have?
  • Do you have them now within you in your current relationship?

Many times when you do this - you will find you don’t really have these qualities within yourself in your current relationship. Oh you might have had them in the beginning of your relationship — And I know you are tempted to say “Well I would be kinder to him/her if he/she didn’t nag me so much” That statement just brings us back to the Blame-Game and it totally takes your power away….

Stay objective in this process - Remember we are not looking for the blame, fault or guilt — not for your partner nor for you….

When you can objectively look at that list - You will be able to see how you attracted this bruised relationship you are in.

Can it be fixed? Well if you both co-created this - it really isn’t broken is it?

If you, yourself, are not living these qualities that you are looking for - then the relationship that is now created is indeed the relationship you have attracted….

I’m not trying to talk you into staying in your relationship - as I do believe there are times it is absolutely appropriate for partners to move on….

While I believe relationships are eternal - once you are connected to another - you will always be connected - - but you might not always be in an active relationship with each other.

I believe some folks come into our experience and stay in our presence for a little while and other’s stay for the entire life experience. No matter which the relationship is - we are always profoundly affected.

If you are on the path of learning how to live the Law of Attraction, the path of creating your life - you will see the advantage of writing this list and owning what is your creation.

The list you have made is a very important tool… You can look at the list and decide if you and this partner did indeed share these qualities when you first got together…

If you did share these qualities in the beginning of your relationship - you can bring those qualities back into your own experience.

If you do this and concentrate on you - many times you will find your partner will also bring these qualities back into her/his own life.

If you decide to tell your partner what he or she should be changing - You just missed the entire point of this!

If you choose to leave your partner - the list is still very important! If you are looking for those qualities that are on your list - you have to match those qualities in order to attract them to you.

There is no right or wrong in this - you have to decide what is or isn’t appropriate for you.

Whether you choose to stay or move on - it is essential that you make a decision to only look at and only talk about what is/was good in this relationship. If you spend your time talking to your friends and thinking about what was wrong . - - you will continue to attract that into your life…. You can read more about how your words and thoughts affect your life in the article about your thought processes.

So… Let’s come back to the question - “Can this relationship be saved?”

I think we started off with a flawed question -

I believe the empowering question to ask is - “What kind of relationship do I want to create and what changes in my thoughts/beliefs will I make to do that?”

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“There are No Mistakes….. Only Discoveries!” ~ Ellie Walsh