January 3rd, 2003 – Gale laid down and never got up….
And my life as I knew it – - changed forever!
I’ve spoken about this here – Life Changing Event
Now here I am …. 5 years later – - I never really knew I would be OK. Well I did make a commitment to be OK – - but – - there were many days – I wasn’t too sure it was going to happen.
Had you told me that in 5 years I would not only be OK – I would be living a Fantastic Life! I might have asked you what kind of drugs you were doing…. 
That’s how far fetched that statement would have sounded to me….
But today – 5 years later – I can tell you……
I Am Living a Fantastic Life!
And No – I’m not doing any drugs!
How did this all happen?
I do believe that Gale’s transition led me into my own transition…. While I had been on this road called personal development, spirituality, for years… What I realize today was – I was a frequent traveler on that road…..
….I dabbled on that road – I was always searching. And I have found if you are always searching, in essence, your searching negates the opportunity to find what you are searching for.
The act of searching – - is about “lack” – about “not having” – - -
For years I was searching for an answer.
- An answer to what?
- An answer to how to live my life. I guess you would say – I was searching for a way for Me to Be Me.
I finally got it! Stop searching …. and BE – Be Ellie
Sounds so simple – doesn’t it? It wasn’t simple for me – for years I had been searching outside of myself – thinking other people had my answers. I kept looking, searching, thinking that some book – or some technique – or some job or business – or something else outside of me – would fix me!
I didn’t know – I wasn’t broken!
I didn’t know – all my answers were right inside of me!
When I heard Abraham Hicks explain the Law of Attraction – it resonated deep within my being. It was then when I realized I needed to accept me – not think of me as broken. If I think of me as broken – - LOA will bring me more situations that will endorse that! If I think I need to search for answers – - LOA brings me more situations to search.
So on one hand I did indeed find the answer in a book – well in a tape – and the answer was – I have the answers! And I certainly have not stopped reading or watching or listening about personal development, spirituality and the Law of Attraction.
But today I am not searching – today I read and listen and visit sites on the internet for information that I will digest and then decide what resonates with me. Today I am solid in knowing who I Am. Today I can claim my Self Power. I talk about that in my guide “4 Steps to Creating the Life You Desire”
I know I came down this path that I am on because I was so devastated when Gale transitioned – it was like my analytical brain short circuited – - I needed to be simple – I needed to be soothed….
Gale & I were together for 18 years…. Her life inspired me and her transition inspired me…. And so here today – I publicly Thank her for all she gave me – - And I dedicate this post to her…..
Today I Have a Fantastic Life!
- I’m living many of my dreams and I know there are many more on their way to me!
- I am in a wonder-filled relationship
- I am at peace with me – and I can truly say “I Love Me”
Lets Create a Spectacular 2008!
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Ellie…Thank you!
Hey Paul…..
Thank You!!
Ellie,
you are a wonderful soul and I feel, a kindred spirit! When you write, I understand, deep within me, and I can relate to what it is that you have been/are feeling – its almost as if you ‘are’ me! But we are ‘me’!!
You sent me an email and I apologise for not responding (I think it was via bloglog, or similiar), because I posted a link to one of your articles – about ‘being worthy to be worthy’ – on my self help blog.
- and I thank you so much for your comments about my site too – I was starting to doubt whether I should keep blogging because there are so many wonderful self help sites, such as yours. But – and I wrote about this recently on my blog – this is not important – if I can help even just one person and make a difference (including to myself!) – then its all worth it.
I haven’t read your post -’life changing event’ yet, but I will, so I write with a little ignorance here. But I can understand such events, as I have had major life-chanigng events over the last 2-3 years, including an incurable illness and loss of my job – faced with no hope, possible death, being alone, inummerable complications (going blind, losing teeth, and my ‘faulse belly-button!! – think I will write a book with that title!!) – I won’t go on about my ‘sob’ story….
I too was always searching, often outside of myself, trying to find the answers. Trying to ‘fix’ myself! I hoped for a new life, but subconsciously, I didn’t feel worthy. I didn’t feel that it was possible, especially with the illness and physical complications.
I was waiting for people to come and ‘rescue’ me.
I was thinking that, with all the ‘work’ I was doing on the internet, in trying to find work from home opportunities, I was progressing.
But in reality, I was getting nowhere. I was always ‘preliving the future’, and going back to the past. And forgetting about the ‘NOW’, despite my own advice at my self help site. Easier to give advice than to take it!
The power to just ‘be’ and to ‘accept’.
To stop ‘resisting’ life – because that is so negative and focuses the wrong energy.
I thought you might be interested, in this respect, about a wonderful book I just discovered called: ‘The Power of Now’. I also have one about ‘Doing It Now’, but that one is more practical’.
Instead, the ‘Power of Now’ is quite spiritual and about just ‘being’, finding yourself in the ‘now’. – I literally cried as I read the author’s story, which involved a life-changing moment, and his story was almost identical to mine, in reaching a critical moment in life, a ‘choice’ of which path to take.
I finally ‘understood’, not at a ‘mind-conscious’ level, but at a much deeper level (its hard to explain!).
Time of past and future is a human concept – it doesn’t really exist. Thus, we need not worry about the future. We can stop our inner chatter and ‘what if’ thoughts. The answers will come.
There is a nice quote:
“Always say “YES” to the present moment. Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life – and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you”
There are many other wonderful quotes – to keep one in the now, and to help us just ‘be’ – in a place where there is no fear or suffering or pain (only in the ‘mind-ego-time’ level). That is why it is so important to live in the now as much as one can and not to miss out on life – to be ‘conscious’ at this level.
I wish I could write more on this book – I will on my blog I think, because it is literally life-changing (for people who are ready to receive the message in this book).
Anyway, I tend to digress a bit! I just want to say thank you again for such a wonderful site to visit, to uplift one’s soul, and to know that one is not alone in this world. Your experiences are so similiar to my own, within your own journey – and I would really love to perhaps ‘talk’ one day, if you would like to also?
I am so happy for you that you are finding yourself/have found yourself, and that you are at peace. Finding that inner peace is a rarity and I commend you! You are living your dreams. You are an inspiration.
And I know now that is IS possible – I too can have a wonderful life. Because while I do have a self help site and, while I do have the ‘knowledge’ and ‘experiences’/background to help others – I am still on this journey, but now with more hope and belief.
Now – I know what it is I need to do – I read your articles and believe even more that I CAN – and I take it slowly
- we must also beware of ‘beating ourselves over the head’ if we don’t always get it right all of the time. I have a motto on my site ‘Always be kind and gentle with yourself
I am not perfect. But I am not ‘broken’ either.
I am learning to be ‘me’ again, and to just ‘be’ in the ‘now’!
To find the peace that you have found
- thank you for helping me BELIEVE again
Again, I would love to know if you would like to become contacts/friends – via bloglog and/or via email – you can visit me at my site (hope you don’t mind me putting this here), where my email address is: http://selfhelp4growth.blogspot.com
(I also have a blog about my illness, a more personal account, but haven’t updated it for quite awhile – its at http://surviving-crohnsdisease.blogspot.com (again, I hope you don’t mind me putting this here, but I thought it might also help?)
(I will try to find the email you sent to me and reply)
Finally(!) – You thank us for being a part of your life. I thank you for being a part of mine – and all readers here
Warm Regards and Blessings to you,
Megan (meg)
Adelaide, South Australia
PS – and yes, I might see you at ‘rapid niche websites’ too!
Hi Megan….
SO nice to *see* and *hear* you here – I feel as though I have been hugged by you!
We are all on our journey – no one of us ahead of the other – as each of our journey’s have their own individual time tables. Each of us are creating at our perfect personal pace.
So yes there are days that I slip and slide — but those are the most fantastic days – if I can look at them – not as a mistake – but as the opportunity for me to fine-tune who I am!
The book you speak of – The Power of Now – is written by Eckhart Tolle – I read this powerful book several years ago….
You might be interested in his new book “A New Earth” – I just ordered my copy — and here is some great news – Oprah and Eckhart will be doing a 10 week session on his book at Oprah’s website and it is Free!! You can go to http://oprah.com to get all the info!
Thanks so much for visiting, for your kind words and for not quitting — You are a true Inspiration!
Big Hugs,
Ellie
Wow that was fast Ellie – I must have written my comment while you were online! Yes – there was a big hug there
And thank you for putting the author’s name here of ‘Power of the Now’ – it is in my ‘reading room’!
AND – that’s wonderful news about his new book and the series on Oprah – I am certainly going to have a look at this.
Thank you too for your kind words – No, I will not quit. Yes, I have my ‘slip and slide’ days too, more so, for now – but decreasing. They will always be there though, for this is the nature of human beings – and those times make the good times even more beautiful
- and these days certainly help to fine-tune ourselves as you say – that’s a wonderful way to look at it – I will remember that, each time I catch myself falling into negative thoughts – I will say ‘stop!’ – and ask myself
- what am I feeling right now?
- why am I feeling this?
- Is there something I can do about it?
- What can I learn from this?
- If I cannot change it, can I just accept it and wait it out, knowing that it will pass for better things…..?
We shall all inspire each other!
And BIG BIG HUGS – hee hee
Meg
BTW – I just added your blog to my Technorati Favourites
Ellie,
Just want to say thank you for inspiring me. I love your blog!
Bren
Thanks Bren…
It has truly been a pleasure to know you!