That’s my mother – Helen Walsh.

She made her transition 3 years ago in October… and still today she is very prevalent in my life.

This is the most recent photo of her that I had on my computer… It was taken about 1 year before she passed over.

On October 12, 2005 – she laid down one afternoon and didn’t get up. While the whole family was shocked at what happened – It was absolutely the best way for her to make her transition!

She was about 6 weeks shy of her 88th birthday and we all were expecting her to live a lot longer. She wasn’t sick and as she would say – she was a tough bird! I guess she was… She had beaten cancer twice in her life.

When she was 59 she had uterine cancer. She never made a big deal about it – she acted cool and calm – which kept us somewhat cool and calm. They operated – they didn’t even do chemo – and she was back up and about in a very short time. Then about 1 year before she transitioned – the doctors discovered cancer in her intestines. They operated, again no chemo – they felt as though they got it all… and again her recovery was remarkable!

Her own mother lived till she was 94 – so I guess we all decided she would do, at least, the same. When my sister called on October 12th, 2005 – I was absolutely shocked… at the same time I felt a peace within me. I was no stranger to being shocked by someone just lying down and leaving as that is what happened in January 2003 when my partner Gale made her transition.

I gathered my clothes and got in the car to make the 3 1/2 hour trip to where I grew up. The minute I got in the car – I could feel her presence with me. I could feel how happy she was! And we started a conversation and talked for the entire trip! Yes – I truly talked to her and she truly talked back to me!

The first thing I heard her say is “I can see so clearly now” – She had macular degeneration and was losing her eyesight – but I knew she was speaking of so much more than eyesight.

She was now seeing the “big picture” – Her and I used to talk about these things – Well I talked and she listened… I would tell her my beliefs – that there was no real death – that we just change form – that we are all connected and that life is wonder-filled journey that we create. She was Catholic and she followed some of their rituals – but she loved these conversations and was open and willing to always look deeper.

Actually she knew these principles, which I live by today, much more than she or I realized…

As I was growing up I can remember her always singing, dancing and smiling around the house… She did not make a big deal out of things that others would consider a horror. If you had a set back – she would tell you “pick yourself up – dust yourself off and start all over again”

She was the matriarch in our family – people gathered around her. She was the person many turned to if they had a problem. She was the person you could count on. She stayed upbeat even in the face of sadness. She always tried to find something good within every situation.

She loved to tell corny and sometimes off-color jokes! I have so many fond memories of laughing so hard we almost wet our pants! And staying up till the wee hours of the morning as she would tell me stories of when she was young.

She wouldn’t talk about the yucky things that happened in her life – she only wanted to tell you the good times, the fun times. As a teenager growing up in the late 60′s early 70′s I can remember telling her she was in denial! She would smile and sing a song! 

At that time in my life – people where talking about “facing reality” – “tell it like it is” – “confront the people who did you wrong” – etc… etc…

My mother did not do those things… She went about her business, smiling, singing, turning her attention to the things that pleased her not to the things that didn’t! She always would point out what was good in your life if you were telling her what wasn’t good!

Her passion was loving her family, spending time with them and enjoying everyday!

In my later twenties – I started to read books, that in essence, where teaching what my mother lived! For years I credited those authors for the changes in my life… and while they did indeed make a difference – it was truly my mother who touched my life with these principles!

When people would ask me who is my hero? – Who do I look up to? – Who would I want to emulate in my life? I never had an answer …. While I respect many people and their accomplishments there really was not one person who I would call my Hero.

That is… until I started to write this article…. and I became so aware – I do indeed have a hero - that Hero is my mother, Helen Walsh. She lived her life with a smile on her face and a song on her lips even in the face of many hardships.

She is still very prominent in my life – I feel her smiling presence often. And if you stop by my house many days will hear me signing many of those same songs she sang…  

Thank You Mother….for all the gifts you gave to me
and to many, many others!

You are indeed My Hero!

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"There are No Mistakes..... Only Discoveries!" ^TM ~ Ellie Walsh

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I keep catching myself trying to make myself sad!

Every morning I wake up and declare “The most important thing today is that I feel good!” And then during the day – I am finding myself trying to make me sad!

I know …. this sounds a bit Cuckoo!

If you read my last post “I Need You to Take Me Through This” – then you know that my dear friend, Marria passed over – just 13 days ago.

And as I spoke about in that post – her transition was an absolutely beautiful experience for me!

So why am I trying to make me sad?

I’m thinking I have some residual societal thinking still stuck in my brain!

I know I grew up believing dead is dead. Well actually I grew up as a Catholic and while they did indeed teach about an after life – there were so many rules and conditons – I think dead sounded better!

And as a society we think it is “normal” or maybe even “mandatory” to feel sad when someone transitions.

In the last 5 1/2 years I have experienced the transition of 3 major people in my life. Gale, my partner of 18 years, was the first. I wrote briefly about that in “A Life Changing Event”

When Gale passed over, I had just been introduced to Abraham (I’m sure that was not a coincidence) and by reading and listening to them – I was able to find hope in my life. But… I indeed was sad. I was very, very sad. I promise you I had never cried so hard in all my life. I did not know you could cry so hard.

But I also remember going out to eat with some close friends the evening she passed over… And there in the Chinese restaurant we were laughing – I mean really laughing — not just giggling… And then I said to my friends “People will think I am terrible that I am laughing on the evening that Gale died!” Now I said this with a snicker — but — I was also thinking – ‘Ellie you are supposed to be sad’

Three years later I got a phone call from my sister – my mother had laid down and didn’t get up. She was almost 88 yrs old but she wasn’t sick and we all had believed she would live at least as long as her mother did which was till 94. So hearing this news was absolutely a shock for me.

I got in the car to make the 3 1/2 hour ride downstate to my family and I was able to connect with my mother right away. I knew she was OK – I knew all was well….

When I arrived at the funeral parlor – I did have a few tears – - those tears were for several of my family members who I saw were in great pain over my mother’s transition.

My mother and I had a really great relationship! I enjoyed her humor, her intelligence, her kindness. I loved when she told me stories from when she was young – I could listen for hours to her. Hmmm well she could talk for hours!

So – why wasn’t I terribly sad like other people?

I remember thinking – ‘Maybe I am in denial’ - – - Denial – that is what people say you are in if you do not react or see things in the manner society thinks is appropriate.

It seems to me that as a society we have a consciousness of thinking on the subject of death:

• We should be sad when someone dies – -

Except of course if we kill them with the death penalty – then we should not be sad we should be happy!

No one ever told me how to react to death -

I guess I heard other people’s views and saw how other people responded. I know I was around conversations when the remaining family member’s were spoken about. The spouse who was so devastated and never remarried. The parent’s who never found joy again.

Or the conversations that spoke of the spouse who was dating just 3 weeks later! Hmmm – I learned that was not acceptable! The opinion then was that person must have never loved the other…

Marria’s Gift to Me

As I spoke in my last post – I can not even begin to describe what I experienced in that meditation when Marria passed over. It is truly beyond words!

This experience has changed my life in a deeper way. I was granted a peek into this transition – which is filled with Love and Peace and Joy!

And… I was not alone in this feeling…. As Coryelle, Carol & I drove back to the house – we were so high – we were giddy with this radiating, shining Love! We said to each other – “we better tone ourselves down before we get to the house – because the other 3 people that were with Marria will not understand where we are coming from!”

I Am Not Sad

When Gale transitioned – I was sad. Actually sad is not even close to how I felt – I was filled with a grief so deep I can not find words to describe it!

I went deeper into me – I immersed myself into the teachings of the Law of Attraction. That grief was transformed into a whole new level of understanding of life and of what we call death.

• I do not believe in dead…. I believe our energy just changes it’s vibration. The physical body that we see with our eyes is gone but the energy – that energy still pulses on.
• I believe in every moment of my life – I get to choose how I feel – the situations in my life can not make me feel a certain way.

I have been able to connect with Gale, my Mother and Marria – I can literally feel their presence – I can speak with them and in my mind’s eye I can see them.

Yes there are days I miss their actual physical presence in my life…. but I can look around and see and appreciate all the gifts they have bestowed on me. And I can look all around and appreciate all the other wonderful people in my life.

Each of these people who have transitioned play a very important part in my life. My relationship with them will never cease – it has just changed the way it looks.

I Catch Myself….

Each time I catch myself thinking how I should be sad… I am so aware I have an old tape playing in my head. I have old residual thoughts running around… I am now able to quickly adjust my thoughts – adjust my feelings and laugh out loud.

• Laugh knowing I am truly the creator of my life!
• Laugh knowing my dear loved ones are filled with Shining Joy!
• Laugh knowing I still celebrate their lives everyday of my life!

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“There are No Mistakes….. Only Discoveries!” ~ Ellie Walsh

Do you ever feel like you are getting “sucked in” by the people around you?

Here is a question I received this week from someone who is brand new to learning about the Law of Attraction – - -

“I have an associate (friend) that is “self-absorbed” person but has a brief moment when she thinks of me. I’ve been told by family and friends that have met this person that “she’s a user”. I’m aware of this but she “sucks” me in to being around her and doing things for her. I try to do other things with my family and friends to keep “busy” and move in another direction from her.

I know I have to make my mind up and do what’s best for me can you help me with some suggestions, please. thanks”

This is a Great Question! This question is asked, in some form, by most folks when they are first looking at how the Law of Attraction works with their own lives…. And this question encompasses many questions – or shall I say many beliefs….

Here is the short answer:

If you are understanding the Law of Attraction you know you can not be a victim – you are much too powerful to be a victim! Nothing can happen to you that you have not in some way attracted to yourself.

Now if I just knocked your socks off by that statement – I recommend you go back to my first article – Law of Attraction. If you have signed up for my local 4 week Manifesting Workshop – we will be going into detail about situations just like this.

Obviously we don’t attract these situations on purpose. None of us is thinking thoughts like “I can’t wait to have a crappy day” …. Still we attract these types of unwanted situations and this is because we are not aware of the power of our thoughts – our beliefs – we basically go through life sleep-walking. We are not aware of over 90% of our own thoughts and beliefs!

I certainly lived a similar situation that is being described in the above question… I felt that other people were using me – taking advantage of me….

When I learned the power of my beliefs – I was then able to change those situations. I did not change the other people – what changed was how I looked at my life. I became more aware of my thoughts when I realized those thoughts are the vibrations that are attracting the situations into my life.

When you find yourself in situations as described in this question – the thing to do is to look inside of you – not outside of you – not at the other people… Look within to the types of thoughts and beliefs that you have….

Most of us have been brought up with dis-empowering beliefs. We don’t even know how powerful we are – we don’t know how Free we are! I love when Abraham says “You are so Free – You can choose Bondage”

Because we don’t know how powerful we are and we don’t understand the Law of Attraction we live life by default. We see things we don’t like and we feel bad – which sends that vibration out to the Universe and brings more like situations to us!

There is no magic answer to this question…

no magic formula to follow….

For me – I had to look at each situation and then ask myself some questions -

• Is this person very important to me?
• Do I enjoy being with her more than not?

If my answer is No – then I need to change the relationship. I do not need to keep myself busy – I need to stand up for myself and just make a choice.

Not a choice based on my family or friend’s opinions… That is a big trap! That is another belief sitting in there – maybe the belief is that your friend’s and family know what is right or wrong for you.

No one knows what is best for us! The only person who truly knows what is appropriate or inappropriate for us – is ourselves! I need to make my own decisions based on how I feel not on what other people think….

If I feel I mostly enjoy the relationship with this person – then I need to again, look at me – within me, and ask myself some more questions -

• Why would I be doing things for this person that I don’t want to do?

I’m guessing there is another belief stuck in here – a belief that says you have to do things for other people – Maybe it is about other people not liking us if we don’t do those things…Whatever the specifics – this belief is based on pleasing other people before we please ourselves…

Ohhh I know – that belief has been passed on for generations…. And it stems from all of us being “self-absorbed” – Wouldn’t we all prefer if all the people in our lives acted just the way we thought they should?!

The only perspective we can come from is the self-perspective – so – in essence we are all “self absorbed” / “self centered”. Just the thought of me thinking another ought to think about me or treat me different – is a “self-centered” thought. Yes?

We really are on the short answer here – as we have only touched on a few of the beliefs/thoughts that are encased within this question. That is why at first glance many people are confused/frustrated with the Law of Attraction because it challenges the thoughts and beliefs we have been carrying around with us for years!

As my question asker states – “I know I have to make my mind up and do what’s best for me……” That is exactly what needs to be done – we each need to find what is appropriate or inappropriate for ourselves. There is no cut and dry answer to these types of questions….

I would suggest going through this website starting at my first article on the Law of Attraction and reading through… there are many examples here on how our thought process works and on how to change your life by changing your thoughts.

I would also suggest these resources;

• A great movie which talks about how our thoughts create our lives as well as Quantum Physics is “What the Bleep Do We Know!?”
• Many have heard of this DVD – “The Secret” and there is also the book – “The Secret”
• The DVD that I highly recommend is from Louise Hay – You Can Heal Your Life: The Movie I think this movie is much better than the Secret!
• I think all of the Abraham books and DVD’s are great. This one book I extra highly recommend – “Ask and It Is Given”
• And of course Abraham-Hicks website

……… Did I really answer the question that was asked?

Well – I addressed some of the beliefs and thoughts behind the question and I probably gave you some more questions to ask.

These are the type of questions that are best answered when I can dialogue directly with the person. If you have questions you would like direct answers to you can contact me regarding my email coaching program.

The Universe hears your questions and will always supply you the answer… So ask questions – read – get support – and then decide what resonates with you…….

Your answers are Within You….

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“There are No Mistakes….. Only Discoveries!” ~ Ellie Walsh

Every week I receive questions about relationships…. They range from creating new relationships to saving relationships…..

For the next few weeks – I will cover the main topics from these questions.

So let’s start out with a big one – - The “Broken” Relationship………

The question I basically hear is “How can I fix this relationship?”

Let’s start off defining a relationship – - What is a relationship?

The dictionary says;

1. a connection, association, or involvement.
2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
3. an emotional or other connection between people.
4. a sexual involvement; affair.

I consider I have a relationship where I have an emotional connection. Not just human beings – as I believe you have relationships with your pets – with your surroundings – with nature…

Anything you connect with – is, in essence, a relationship —

It doesn’t matter who your relationship is with — there is one common denominator in your relationships – that is You…

So as in all of our discussions – we always come back to You – - -

The more you understand how to live the law of attraction – the more you will realize there is always only one answer for any given topic – that answer is You.

Your life – whether the topic is about money, or health, or relationships – is always about your perception – your attitude – your thoughts and feelings….

I just wrote a guest post for Priscilla Palmer – the article was How to Deal with Difficult People……

In that article I spoke of acceptance…. Acceptance of what is – - I didn’t say you have to like what is – - but – if you want to change what is – you need to start off by first accepting it….

Same is with relationships — First you need to accept it is all about You….

Funny when I say the word acceptance – people react like I am talking about blame or fault! Nowhere am I saying that or implying it…

Living the Law of Attraction – Living Life – is not about blame, it is not about who is right or wrong nor is it about guilt or fault – It is all about creation…

So if I am living within a relationship that is not going well – I need to:

• #1 accept that — this relationship is not going as I would like it to…
• #2 – I created this!

OK I see a few people cringing….

I did not say the bruised relationship is your fault — nor did I say it is the other person’s fault….

I did not say the other person is right — nor did I say you are right….

To live the life of the Power-filled being that you already are – You need to take these words out of your vocabulary –

• Blame
• Fault
• Guilt
• Right
• Wrong

When I say you have created this – I am not saying you have done so on purpose. Most of us have created much of our lives not being aware of what we are doing. Most of us have lived many years creating our lives by default…

Remember how we create – Law of Attraction says “that which is likened to itself is drawn” – in other words “Like attracts Like”

Ellie are you saying people that are in abusive relationships have created them?

I might be making some enemies when I say this – but – my answer is – Yes –

Yes – because the person who is being abused on some level attracted that abuse. No I am not saying that is what they wanted — And I do believe all of these people had pictured themselves being in a loving relationship not an abusive one!

So what happened?

We create our lives by vibration – We put out into the Universe our vibration – we put that out with our beliefs – our feelings…. – the intensity of our beliefs…

If someone believes they are not worthy – or they are in some way bad – or they believe they need to be controlled – They send out that vibration…. And yes even though they are hoping for a good relationship – the intensity of those beliefs is strong – that vibration is strong and it will attract people who are abusive…

I must say here – I do not believe anyone that is being abused – mentally or physically should in anyway stay in the relationship…. You need to get away – No one should ever allow another to abuse them….

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Can a bruised / broken relationship be fixed?

The first thing to ask yourself is why am I calling this a bruised / broken – - relationship?

I can’t possibly address all the answers to this question — each person’s perspective is different — so what I would call bruised another might not…

You need to look at your own individual situation – you need to do this in an objective manner – without all the blame, guilt, fault – I’m not saying that is always an easy thing to do… it is quite possible you need help with this – maybe a Coach or a Counselor can help direct you.

Write down what you would think a perfect relationship looks like – and what a perfect partner for you looks like….

Don’t write this -
Someone who is not always complaining….

Write the actual quality you are looking for -
Understanding
Patient

Look at your list – - -

• Now….. don’t look at your partner – Instead look at You –
  • Are these qualities that you have?
  • Do you have them now within you in your current relationship?

Many times when you do this – you will find you don’t really have these qualities within yourself in your current relationship. Oh you might have had them in the beginning of your relationship — And I know you are tempted to say “Well I would be kinder to him/her if he/she didn’t nag me so much” That statement just brings us back to the Blame-Game and it totally takes your power away….

Stay objective in this process – Remember we are not looking for the blame, fault or guilt — not for your partner nor for you….

When you can objectively look at that list – You will be able to see how you attracted this bruised relationship you are in.

Can it be fixed? Well if you both co-created this – it really isn’t broken is it?

If you, yourself, are not living these qualities that you are looking for – then the relationship that is now created is indeed the relationship you have attracted….

I’m not trying to talk you into staying in your relationship – as I do believe there are times it is absolutely appropriate for partners to move on….

While I believe relationships are eternal – once you are connected to another – you will always be connected – - but you might not always be in an active relationship with each other.

I believe some folks come into our experience and stay in our presence for a little while and other’s stay for the entire life experience. No matter which the relationship is – we are always profoundly affected.

If you are on the path of learning how to live the Law of Attraction, the path of creating your life – you will see the advantage of writing this list and owning what is your creation.

The list you have made is a very important tool… You can look at the list and decide if you and this partner did indeed share these qualities when you first got together…

If you did share these qualities in the beginning of your relationship – you can bring those qualities back into your own experience.

If you do this and concentrate on you – many times you will find your partner will also bring these qualities back into her/his own life.

If you decide to tell your partner what he or she should be changing – You just missed the entire point of this!

If you choose to leave your partner – the list is still very important! If you are looking for those qualities that are on your list – you have to match those qualities in order to attract them to you.

There is no right or wrong in this – you have to decide what is or isn’t appropriate for you.

Whether you choose to stay or move on – it is essential that you make a decision to only look at and only talk about what is/was good in this relationship. If you spend your time talking to your friends and thinking about what was wrong . – - you will continue to attract that into your life…. You can read more about how your words and thoughts affect your life in the article about your thought processes.

So… Let’s come back to the question – “Can this relationship be saved?”

I think we started off with a flawed question -

I believe the empowering question to ask is - “What kind of relationship do I want to create and what changes in my thoughts/beliefs will I make to do that?”

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“There are No Mistakes….. Only Discoveries!” ~ Ellie Walsh

Here we are – this is #28 of the longest running Blog Carnival dedicated to exploring the Law of Attraction and this is the first edition for Dean and myself as the new organizers!

Many Thanks to Edward Mills from Evolving Times for creating this Carnival and for passing on the torch to Dean and myself!

We had a few bumps and hiccups as we started out – but we held our intention and here is our manifestation!

Our topic for this edition was Relationships – -

Featured Entries

• Whom better to have a great relationship with than yourself?

SD presents Love Yourself posted at 1 Little Thing.

• What about our relationships with others?

Sonia Miller presents How to Transform Your Relationships with the Law of Attraction posted at Sonia Miller’s Success for the Soul

• Are you listening to the people in your relationships?

Tupelo Kenyon presents Listen with Your Heart posted at Tupelo Kenyon, saying, “When someone is talking to you, do you hear with your ears, monitor with your mind, or listen with your heart?

And…. Here is the Best of the Rest….

• Matthew Spears presents The unity in Love posted at Loving Awareness, saying, “Love is always a journey towards oneness, toward unity.
• Warren Wong presents Why You Should Show Appreciation posted at Personal Development for INTJs, saying, “Why you should show appreciation for the little things people do and how to go about doing it.”
• Lola Fayemi presents Embracing all of you posted at Real World Spiritual and Personal Development, saying, “You can only get so far without embracing ALL of you.”
• Ron presents Man often suffers loss through lack of appreciation posted at The Secret Testimonials.com
• Michael McClintock presents My Creation with Law of Attraction posted at Law of Attraction Files Blog, Mike says “I owe most of my personal growth to my wife, Lin.”

That’s a statement I hear often when people are learning how to apply the Law of Attraction in their lives….

My first response – well at least in my head is – So? – But I don’t usually say that because I do understand what is going on….

First off – I have friends and family members who don’t understand me – So I certainly live this experience.

Do I care that they don’t understand me – Well not anymore – - but there was a time when I did.

There was a comment about this topic from this article and I promised I would talk about it…

Here is part of the comment:

” …………..Folks around me just “aint gettin it”. By letting things be as they are, it is causing issues in my relationships.. They seem to think I don’t care about important stuff. When I comment that this is what we have made or, something to that effect, major tensions can show their faces……. “

25 years ago – if you told me the same things I believe and talk about today – I would have thought you were Nuts! It was true – “I wasn’t getting it”

And the funny thing is – I know this information resonated deep within me – but I was so used to “thinking inside of the box” – - I was so used to being true to the “status quo” not to my own inner voice!

So I totally “get it” when people don’t “get it”!

And….. If I was dealing/talking about an issue that was important to me and someone commented that I made this happen – - that I caused it. Oh my goodness! I promise you – you would have been met with much more than major tension on my face!!

Now after saying all of that………… When I first stepped upon the path of self-discovery – I was soooo excited! I wanted everyone I knew and loved to know all about this!

Eureka – I thought – this is the way for all of us to have a happy and fulfilling life! So – I proceeded to run out there and tell all my friends and family.

Guess what? Most of them didn’t want to hear what I was saying! Ouch! I thought I was bringing them pure gold and they were annoyed at me!

Why?

Right here is the key…. They weren’t asking me for the answer!

No wait – you might say – they are asking – as they are saying their life is hard – or the situation they are in is confusing / upsetting them. They are asking me for my opinion on that situation…. So they are asking the question.

Hmmmm – Well they might be asking you for your feedback on a situation. But they really aren’t asking you for The Answer…. and many times if you are very close to a person – even when they are ready for the Answer – it probably won’t be from you!

Mostly when people are telling you their worries, fears – - they are looking to vent. You are probably a person they used to vent to before…. They are still looking for that person that allows them to vent – They are not asking you for the Answer!

Venting – and Asking are not the same thing. Believe me I know – as I used to vent. I don’t know why – I guess I thought if I just blabbed about all this stuff – it would somehow get easier. And usually the people I vented to – joined me in my complaining.

Of course today I know it works the complete opposite…. If I am venting/blabbing about a crappy situation – I am setting myself up for more crappy situations. But I did not know that years ago – and people who are still venting don’t know it either.

So – you think it is your duty to inform them – Well that isn’t your job. You can not answer a question that has not been asked!

I can not hear an answer that I am not allowing in! You can say the words all you want – but if I am not ready to Hear It – - I’m not going to…. And your insistent remarks are probably going to upset me!

Let’s take a scenario ….

You say to me – -
• “Ellie I have this big job situation going on – my boss is really annoying me. I am hating this job more and more everyday. I don’t want to get up in the morning and go to work. I don’t know what I am going to do!”

I say to you – - -
• “Well you know this isn’t a big deal…. and you create your life – so you need to create it different.”

Whoa…. Did you just knock my lights out?

If you let me live – - and I go on and on about Law of Attraction and how you are not a victim and you create your life…. Do you think you ever want to hear me talk about LOA again?!

You were looking for some way to feel better – that is why you spoke to me. And actually you were doing the right thing… You were feeling powerless – and when you started to speak to me you were speaking your anger about the situation.

So… in essence you came up the emotional scale as anger is lots better than powerlessness…. But you were nowhere near the level of feeling like this is not a big deal!

OK maybe I exaggerated the scenario (or maybe not) – But let’s say I answer you a bit softer….

• OK (your name) – this isn’t a big deal – everything will work out – you know we all create our lives – so you just have to see things different and things will get different….

I think you still might want to knock my lights out!

The point is simple – there are many people who do not want to hear your wisdom! … Especially the people closest to you. They know you – they have seen how you used to be. Usually this new you is not endearing to them – they are still looking for the old you. The old you who use to join them in complaining.

So what to do?

Here is what I have learned….

1) How other people view life ….. is None of My Business!
2) I can not tell someone how to think or act – I can only teach about the Law of Attraction by my actions – not my words….

So – if I said to you – -

• Hmmmm (your name) I hear you are struggling with this…. I hear it is important to you. For me – I think I would try not to concentrate so much on this. I think I would not want this stuff to live in my head rent free. I know that when I am angry at someone the only person who truly gets hurt is me – cause I am the one that gets the headache not them.

Then…. I would change the subject or some how get away for awhile.

If you came back to me and said – -

• “But Ellie you aren’t upset – don’t you think this situation is important?”

I would say something like – -
• “Well I really try not to make any of these things so important – so dramatic – Like I said – it is me who ends up getting the headache and the stuff doesn’t change anyways. So maybe I just need to go with the flow and believe everything will work out”

OK this conversation we had was not so challenging to you – was it? This conversation had compassion without joining you in your misery. This conversation did not tell you what to do – I spoke in the me – (For me – blah – blah….)

I learned I needed to let people discover things on their own. The only way I can teach is through my actions. When they see me – I am happy – I am upbeat. When they know I have a situation going on and they see I am not doing my old complaining act…. They just may start to pay attention.

I can have compassion for others without joining them in their misery. I have found a balance – I do not need to join anyone in their misery or anger nor do I need to poke at them and try to get them to see it my way….

I just need to let go – Quietly….

Many times couples seem to have the hardest time with this – if one is upset they want the other one to also be upset.

But – again You can stay clear and calm without provoking them. If they are annoyed that you aren’t upset – let them be annoyed – they will get over it. Especially if you do not get annoyed because they are annoyed at you!!

Don’t get hooked into that old way of thinking. See that person in your mind as the person you love – don’t see them in their annoyance…. if you do not fuel this – if you do not activate this in your own vibration… You will be amazed at how short lived their annoyance will be!

Don’t try to teach. When you try to teach someone – they end up feeling that you are telling them they are wrong. No one likes to be told they are wrong.

Teach by Being… Be the person who deliberately creates your day – who understands the power of us all. Be the person who is the total Love of who we all are. The people who are ready to hear you – - will come. The others? – If you are Being Love – they will love you – they might not agree with you – but they won’t care because they will Love being with your Love.